I was driving into my gated community the other day and almost hit the barrier, which was down.

(An aside: I live in the Villages, which, like many Florida communities, has barriers to keep the riff-raff out. In mine, only the riff is excluded, since anyone pushing a little red button can gain entry. There isn’t even a guard. It’s a serial killer’s dream neighborhood.)

Anyway, I was too distracted even to push the button. Why, you may ask?

I was writing. Not really writing. I mean writing in my head. It used to be that I’d keep paper and pen handy so that when I had an idea for a story, character, or scene, I could jot it down. (Jotting while driving is not recommended. I had a fender-bender at a red light years ago while doing just that.)

Now, I always make sure my smartphone, with its Voice Memo and Notes apps, is handy. Still, modern technology has its downside. I met my sister-in-law for lunch the other day. I forgot my wallet. She forgot her phone. It was like we were back in the 1970s. The only upside was that she had to buy!

Of course, having a smartphone handy doesn’t work in the shower, which is where I get a lot of my ideas. Then again, water ruins paper, too. I also have many constructive thoughts in a place that anyone who remembers George Costanza on “Seinfeld” will appreciate.  

But I often forget that I’ve recorded or written something down on my phone. So, I periodically scroll through my electronic marvel to find out what I thought 22 days ago.

At least the apps are time-stamped. Back in the pen-and-paper days, I’d have to sift through dozens of slips of paper left all over the house. Some of it was waterlogged and undecipherable.

When writers sleep, they also dream. Trying to remember those dreams is the problem. I’m pretty sure I once figured out how to travel faster than light, but I just can’t put my finger on the specifics. (Did Tolstoy come up with War and Peace while asleep? That must’ve been a heck of a long nap.)

Getting to sleep can also be a problem. A writer’s mind is always racing. Here’s a pro tip: Trying to get around Einstein’s Theory of Relativity is a real snooze-inducer.

Okay, I have to cut this column short. I just had a great story idea.

Where’s my damn iPhone?

Lawrence De Maria has written more than 30 thrillers and mysteries. He takes many showers and has been known to nap. In fact, he almost drowned once while napping in the shower.